I found some notes the other day that I had written in a notebook and thought today I would discuss these.
I don’t particularly like walking on eggshells as the shell is so thin that its likely to break and the result is a crack. The crack can be verbal or physical abuse, tears, or simply someone feeling uncomfortable or walking away from you. There are many signs of toxic behaviour around us but for whatever reason, wanting to retain the relationship, fear of not being wanted, playing the victim and more we put up with certain things.
Toxic behaviours are prevalent in us all. Do you align with any of these statements?
- Hoarding pain or loss over love, anger, guilt
- Talking another down and telling them what is wrong with them
- Acting the victim, you have no power to exert over your life
- Taking everything personally when having conversations
- Jealous or being envious of others, comparing yourself to others
- Obsessive negative thinking
- Lack of emotional self control- explode with anger or tears
- Being manipulative
- Being judgemental
- Lacking compassion or empathy
You may ask what is toxic about this? When you are with others your negative energy, speak or persona impacts on the other person.
You may have become so comfortable in these negative actions you don’t even realise your actions are speaking so loud to others. What is happening to your self worth when people don’t want to be around you?
Conversations That Matter are about feeling good about yourself, positive communication, productivity in things you do because you are not stuck in some mindset that sees you going nowhere fast. Stop comparing your journey with everyone else’s. Your journey is YOUR journey, NOT a competition.
Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re the worst, again, is more about them. What you think about yourself is how people see you and if you are happy or sad it reflects in how you present and engage or not with others.
When you stop complaining, and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll find that you are more powerful than you realised but this has to be your reality.I t takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.
Avoiding unnecessary toxic energy has been my mantra over the years. An underrated determinant of health and overall quality of life, this facet of living can be vastly improved upon.
We know that our emotional health has great influence over the health of all our organs and system in our bodies, particularly our nervous and endocrine systems. Since our emotional health is largely affected by our daily interactions with others, it stands to reason that learning how to identify and effectively deal with toxic influences is an important skill to develop.
To protect your health against such people:
- Firstly, think carefully about whether you may have done or said something to cause the other person to react the way they have
- If you have acted or said something that may have caused the reaction then rectify it if possible, an apology goes a long way.
- If this is an issue that you have not caused then confronting the other party about unkind behaviour is not likely to be fruitful.
Remember this , “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”
In other words, if someone is showing toxic or unkind behaviour they will reap natural consequences in due time but you don’t have to deal with it. If on the other hand you are the one that has signs of toxic behaviour think about why you are being the way you are and do something about it.