Journeying to the Other Side

 No matter if we are young or older, anxiety can hit us at anytime. The pressures of life are but one re-occurring theme, but more importantly are the pressures that we put on ourselves that need to be managed. Many people journey from stress to relaxation and seem to manage it whereas others just journey to the other side and get stuck there, seeing nothing but angst.

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Turmeric Orange Chia Seed Pudding

Our wellness in our relationships is  inter related with what we consume. Healthy eating and looking after our bodies, mind and spirit are foremost in having quality relationships.
Vegan Gluten-free Nut-free Soy-free Recipe. Serves 2


Prep time

5 mins
Cook time
10 mins
Total time
15 mins
  • 1 can coconut milk or 1⅓ cup non dairy milk of choice
  • ¾ to 1 tsp turmeric
  • ¼ tsp ground ginger
  • ¼ tsp ground cinnamon ( or cardamom or other spices)
  • a good dash of black pepper
  • 1 tbsp orange preserves or zest of half a small orange
  • 2 tbsp maple syrup or more to taste
  • ¼ cup + 2 tbsp chia seeds
  1. Heat 1 cup of the coconut milk, turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, pepper over medium heat until just boiling. Take off heat.
  2. Add rest of the coconut milk, orange preserves, maple syrup and chia seeds and mix vigorously. Taste and adjust sweet, flavor if needed. Let it sit to cool completely for 10 to 15 minutes.
  3. Whisk the mixture vigorously again. The chia seeds should have expanded a bit and should distribute well. You can directly serve at this point or pour into serving containers and chill for more hydrated chia seeds and thicker pudding. Garnish with whipped coconut cream and candied ginger and serve.

What Are You Willing To Struggle For?

Everybody wants what feels good. Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room.

Everyone would like that — it’s easy to like that.

Continue reading “What Are You Willing To Struggle For?”

New Name Change

Hi Everyone

To maintain consistency in brand we have changed our counselling site name to

Website: Relationships That Matter

Our business website is called  Conversations That Matter




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War of Wills

I am currently visiting a friend in Bali who invited a dog trainer to work with her dogs who were going to be freighted back to Australia. It was a fascinating encounter watching one of the dogs and the trainer fight a war of wills as to who was the more dominant of the pack.

Many times in relationships  especially those that are abusive, the domineering partner will often get the other party to submit to their will. This can be due to a personality disorder called Narcissism.

Narcissistic personalities can be defined as people who have an overinflated sense of their own importance and generally lack empathy with others. They believe they are the leader of the pack or more important than anyone else and can show symptoms of jealously, arrogance, be exploitive of others and have a strong sense of entitlement and self importance.

When someone is identified with this symptom it is diagnosed as a mental illness. Generally developed in early childhood it is more prevalent in males than females. These individuals:

1. Dislike any form of criticism. If they assume or believe you are analysing them or their behaviour they may lie, change the subject or respond to something else as they don’t like to show their vulnerability or that they are deficient in any way

2. Lack confidence.  Though they are superficial they show a face that appears in control and knowledgable. These individuals can rise to positions of power and influence as they are driven to prove themselves.  Their feelings of inferiority are overwhelming but they can skilfully hide this appearing to those around as having high self esteem. They constantly seek compliments for their achievements and will compliment themselves if someone else doesn’t.

3. Are defensive. Since these individuals cannot lose face they will protect themselves at all costs.Their defensive system can be easily set off and thus if you get into a conflict with them they find it near on impossible to apologise or admit they made a mistake. Like the Bali dog I watched being trained, initially it was very stubborn and refused to obey the trainer. It was their way or the highway. Eventually through patience it gave way to doing as it was told. The trainer just sat and waited but it is much harder to break a personality disorder if imbedded since childhood.

4. Outbursts. Angry outbursts are common if this individual doesn’t get their own way or they feel threatened. Being at the centre of this rage where their hurt, guilt, shame comes to the fore the other party can be baffled, hurt or even frightened.

5. Confronting the darkness. Narcissistic personalities find it near on impossible to confront their traits and behaviours because it’s so scary to disrobe and show themselves for who they are. They alienate themselves and hide somewhere safe so they are not devalued. Not so long ago I was at a dance where an instructor was criticised for doing something. This instructor is known to grand stand his abilities (which I have to admit are very good) but he certainly has a narcissistic personality. When he was attacked, rather than explain or ignore the attacker he chose to leave immediately.

6. Sense of entitlement. Other individuals are seen as extensions of the narcissist and there to serve their needs. They seek to get from others and don’t generally think of the repercussions. There is a scale where some behaviours are higher than others so when I use the word generally, it is because not everyone is at the same level on the scale.

If you are in a relationship with someone who shows this type of behaviour be aware they like to dominate conversations, sometimes share inappropriate personal information about themselves or ask unacceptable questions of others. Sometimes they may use manipulation and games to wreak havoc so don’t be taken into their world and feel you are wrong when you may be right.

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